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Guatemala,Mexico,Peru,Volunteering
What to do when Children Approach for Money.
Traveling through poorer countries (economically speaking), it’s a given that at some stage during your journey you will be approached by children after a bit of money. Their techniques may include  begging, selling trinkets, polishing shoes or even trying to steal. Some will be the friendliest kids you’ve ever come across, others might kick you in the shin if you refuse their request. Their motivations for approaching you will wildly differ, from pure desperation to fill an empty stomach or perhaps an easy way to swindle some cash out of an unsuspecting gringo.
Who they are. While working at a hostel in Antigua, Guatemala, we came to know a few kids that wandered the streets selling anything from chewing gum to woven bracelets. Apparently we were one of the only businesses that allowed them to use a bathroom. Unfortunately, this became a problem for us as well with licensing laws and the fact that a few of them consistently peed all over the floor. But, when they politely asked and promised to be respectful, we ushered them in. A few occasionally stayed on for a chat.
The girl in the second picture above, we both consider a friend of ours. She arrived at the hostel frequently, occasionally selling an item or two, but I think mainly for the companionship. The huge smile never left her face as she sat down for a chat. Her age seemed to change daily. First she was 12, then 16, then back to 12 again. She traveled in by bus from her home town by the lake, a few hours down the road. She carried a sack on her back full of colourful scarves, bracelets and other things a tourist might like to buy for a souvenir. She told us stories of having to work in the corn fields back home. Sadly, she could not read or write. A friend of hers on the other hand, I would guess a bit younger, could write near perfectly. It became apparent that some of the kids went to school, while others didn’t. It seemed there was a big difference between those who worked for a bit of cash on the side and others whose families depended on the little they could make to mere survive. There was even a weird instance where one girl, who couldn’t have been more than 10, selling chewing gum from a basket, pulled a brand new cell phone out of her pocket in order to play me her favourite song. I knew where my chewing gum wasn’t coming from after that!
What to do. Such a tough one. I have been told by many a person that you shouldn’t give them any money, that it will only encourage them to continue their ways and that they will never attend school. By flipping them a coin you are only encouraging the poverty cycle to continue. In some respects I agree. But, there really are those out there that desperately need a dollar or two so that they can have their one meal for the day, buy a blanket for their baby sister or a new sheet of tin for their badly damaged house. I can only imagine how unimportant maths class becomes when you don’t know if you are going to eat today or not. Other options that may be employed to fulfil their daily quota might include collecting plastic bottles from the dump, pick-pocketing or maybe even pedalling drugs.
Organisations Helping Out. We have come across a few organisations, and I am sure there are a lot more, that are proactively putting together programs to break through the poverty cycle. One in particular impressed us immensely, “Oaxaca Street Children” in Oaxaca, Mexico. Through sponsors and donations, they are able to provide school uniforms, books and support to some 600 or so kids who would otherwise not be able to attend school. They also provide meals to the kids who are able to get into the city during the day. Many who are a part of the program still hit the streets to earn some cash, not escaping the need for that extra bit to help out their families. Yet, they have hope, a light at the end of the tunnel and a method to break out of the cycle. Some success stories include practicing doctors, lawyers and college students. We believe it can serve as a model for other organisations to follow.
Another couple that more than deserve a mention are “Safe Passage” in Guatemala, who provide education for kids working at the city rubbish dump, and “Traveler not Tourist” in Arequipa, Peru, who provide English classes for kids in an extremely poor community.
Your Thoughts. Unfortunately, I often don’t know what to do when I am approached by a kid similar to those described above. Without ever pretending that I am going to change someone’s life, I want to help in even the tiniest way possible, but am I actually having a negative effect? Short of donating to an organisation or even volunteering at one, what do I do when I come across a kid in the street who wants to apply shoe shine to my flip-flops so he can have some lunch? If you have any ideas or thoughts, please leave them below. In addition, our experience with this has been pretty much limited to Central and South America. Would love to hear some thoughts about different instances in different areas of the world.
A Couple of Links.
Read about our time at the Oaxaca Street Children organisations: Oaxaca Street Children – Volunteer Organisation
Check out the home page for: Oaxaca Street Children
Read about our time at Traveller Not Tourist in Arequipa, Peru: Volunteering – Flora Tristan English School
Check out the home page for: Traveller Not Tourist
Check out the home page for: Safe Passage
If you have any more suggestions, be sure to leave them below.
Jamie, this is really a tough one. Although it sometimes breaks my heart, I strictly give no money to any begging child or so called ‘mother’ with a baby doll disguised as a kid. It’s my extensive travel in the Middle East which has taught me that. Too often have I seen the cell phone incident which you described. I actively support Doctors without borders because I think that they do really good.
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Yep, tough one. The situation here in Turkey is similar to the one you described. We never give the children money but we’re not happy with that. But, if we gave them money, we wouldn’t be happy with that either.
A lot of the kids are sent by their parents from the East during the school summer holidays (those who go to school!) so they can weigh tourists for the price of a lira. Some go back in winter but we see others around Fethiye all year round.
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It’s a similar situation in SEA. I seldom give money. However, I do look for local organizations that I can support. I also donate through Kiva, which supplies business loans to low income earners trying to start or build a business.
Thanks for the links. I will check them out.
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Like the others said it’s tough, I can’t help but think the money isn’t going where I think it is….
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Well, another thing you can do is plan ahead and say that you will give X amount per week to beggars. This way you won’t feel as bad because you will not have to go through the whole questioning process of “should I, or should I not” with every person that comes up.
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this is really tough — I recently did a similar post on begging and similar things in the 3rd world and have tons of thoughtful comments there also. It is SUCH a tough thing to handle.
http://www.goseewrite.com/2010/11/third-world-begging-tip/
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It is a hard situation, and I’ve had a few experiences that I’ve learned from.
I once was in Mexico when a few kids came up to me to ask for money. Since they were helping us carry our groceries to the car, I thought I would give them some money. Unfortunately, there were two, and I only had a .5 c peso and a .50 c peso. Watching them fight over the two broke my heart and made me feel like a horrible person.
Also once in Mexico, I was at a nightclub near the beach when I met a young boy (prob 13) who was selling flowers. We got to talking, and I had a few drinks that night and was mostly just stoked to be able to have a coherent conversation in Spanish.
Before I knew what was happening, though, we were walking along the beach away from the nightclub talking, when all of a sudden like 6 grown adult men came out of nowhere and surrounded me. He had led me right to them. They threw sand in my eyes and started talking about having sex. I couldn’t see anything.. it was terrifying. Thank god, just at that moment, a male friend of mine came out of the club and found me, crying, and took me back in.
Although this experience totally SUCKED, I hold no resentment. But now I don’t give money to street beggers.
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It’s really hard to choose to who I want to give and not. It is hard to know what are their true intentions for begging. In general, I tend not to give away spare money, but there are few cases that they just break my heart with their faces and begging (although I know most of them can be awarded for their theatrics).
When I was in Peru I gave a few soles here and there so some of the kids by buying a little woven puppet or some other random stuff; but I didn’t give money away just because the asked. I was dumbstruck by how many kids are begging in the streets of Cuzco, and not only kids… adults too.
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Over here in Malaysia, it is similar especially when the children are imported from other poor countries from around Indochina. For us Asians, we have been seeing this on a daily basis since we were young and it becomes normal when we see it now. Sad truth over here too.
David
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This is such a tough one and I never know what to do either. When I lived in Thailand you would see a lot of severely disable people begging for money on the streets. I used to give them some, until I found out that many of them had been mutilated by the mob, and were then begging to pay off their “debt”. It made me so sick, so I’ve been more careful after that, but it’s hard to see someone suffer, especially a child.
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I’ve traveled in Central and South America, Turkey, Morocco and a few other places where children begging on the street are common (even in Greece where I have lived and visited many times there are gypsy children begging or at least trying to sell gum or flowers). I usually don’t give money or buy what they have unless needed. When I want to take photos of them I’ll then give them a coin or two but usually, Turkey anyway, the kids have merely requested that I mail them a photo (usually there is one spokesperson in the group who can speak English). In Morocco when I was on a trekking tour, we were told not to give money but to bring gifts such as pencils, school supplies etc. The kids were delighted with those. In Cuba I carried a back-pack full of trinkets, toys and school supplies as well as cosmetics, soaps etc and it was really fun playing Santa as I walked down the Malecon and each time I saw a child or an adult with a child, I stopped and gave them a gift. They were so appreciative.
I remember on my long-ago trip to Tasco Mexico a sign posted said “don’t give our children money and make them into beggars”. I’ve always remembered that as I think it’s a good policy. Give them food (fruit, peanuts etc) or something useful that they likely don’t own like pens, pencils, and souveniers from your country..
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We don’t give to children. It merely encourages the growth of the begging mentality, and the perception that all tourists are a target for whatever scams.
But a kid who is selling something that we want,tissues,drinks,snacks etc fine we’ll buy even if we may not need it. Because we’re helping that kid perhaps start a wee business. Or a shoeshine. These are kids who are actually doing something to earn a living.
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Most of the time it’s really hard for me to say no to a child who seems to be in need, but like the others, I try to remind myself that I would be contributing to them continuing to beg. Great post, and I love to sketches!
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Great post you guys. Interestingly, we are planning a return trip to Oaxaca to do an extended volunteer stint. Oaxaca Street children, which is a charity we are also very fond of, is at the top the list!
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Such a complicated topic, and the answer to which I think changes depending on each place you go to and maybe even how long you are there. My husband is from India (I’m from the U.S.) and it is helpful to have him with me as it keeps people from taking blatant advantage of me, but on our last trip we gave a fair amount of money to children. I thought a lot about whether or not it was the right thing to do, and what I came up with at the time was that it was always better for that kid to have the money than have me make decisions about what was best for him.
Many times kids might try to “trick” you, or might have a very bad person forcing them to beg, but I kept thinking that even if someone was making him do it and would take the money, he would still treat the kid better for having gotten some. This is really horrible, but probably a reality. Also, even the kids that try to “trick” you by holding babies or saying they are younger than they are still starving, or struggling in some way.
I sometimes think of that starfish poem–that it matters to that one child–but it’s also possible that I’m contributing to a bigger problem by making it a “viable” profession.
In future trips I think I will try to buy these children food instead of giving them money, since most of them say they need it for food and clearly really DO need it, whether that’s what they would use the money for or not. I also LOVE Ruth’s idea about bringing little supplies to give out instead.
Basically, though, there was not a single kid who ever asked me for money who I didn’t believe really needed it, no matter what the other circumstances. Also, I believe that once I choose to give someone money I have to give them the respect and benefit of the doubt to use it the way they think is best for their lives–I don’t know what it’s like to live on the street and be starving, and it would be wrong to try to tell them what to do with it.
Finally, in the future I should be donating at least as much money as I give away to an organization that helps get kids off the streets. I think this is the best way to make any kind of lasting difference. Choosing to just not give kids money doesn’t really help them get into schools and off the streets, but some of these local focused organizations can.
Phew! Long comment, I know, but I’ve struggled with this a lot (still am) and don’t have too many people to talk about it with
. I am not even sure that this is what I will still think in the future, but it is where I am for now! Also I want to add as a disclaimer that my experiences took place in an area of southern India, and may not be the same as in huge tourist and city areas like the Taj Mahal or Mumbai, etc, where there may be some more sinister things going on. Thanks for bringing this up!
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I just watched “Slumdog Millionaire” which covers many of these issues. That’d help make your mind up to do something else other than offering money. My son is in Mumbai and when not playing cricket is helping out with “The Magic Bus” an organisation that travels around the slums helping, educating and encouraging the kids to do new and better/different things.
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A great post and some great comments in here as well. Obviously it’s a tricky situation that has no right or wrong answer. Arguments can be made from both sides. We’ve been to S. America, SE Asia, and India and had to deal with it in all those regions. We very rarely gave anything. Unfortunately after a while one becomes somewhat immune to it. It breaks my heart to see it, but I think things like giving food or pens or pencils, or volunteering helps so much more. You simply can’t give to everyone.
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It’s really great to know that there are organizations that are proactive. No matter where on the planet you go, it’s awfully sad to see school children trying to make money for their family to survive.
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I’ve seen this all over the world and never really know what to do, either. Sometimes, I try to buy what they’re selling (if they’re selling something). Other times, I hand them a small coin. And other times, I do and give nothing just because it just feels/seems wrong. I guess each situation is different.
What worries me is those kids whose parents beat them if they don’t bring home enough money from sales or begging. It’s sad…
Anyway, I’m glad there are organizations in place to help.
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When I lived in the Philippines I used to see two children that someone parked each day on a pedestrian overpass. They were so thin and filthy and I had to walk by them every day knowing that if I gave them money it would be taken by whoever was dropping them off and picking them up.
It really broke my heart so I started just giving them food, that way I knew that they would at least be eating and not passing it onto someone else.
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How do you decide which kids really need it and which are just using it as a means to deceive and continue down this path rather than trying something else to change their lives? It’s such a hard call. If you have the time, you can always buy them a meal or give them food if that is what they want or need. That may not always be helpful either. It’s a tough dilemma but the best thing about this post is highlighting the organizations that can help these kids!
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thanks to everyone for the incredible response!
cheers to INKA and NANCIE for naming these organisations:
-doctors without borders
-kiva
JOHN IN FRANCE
The Magic Bus sounds like a great idea. hope the cricket is going well for him!
RUTH
great idea about carrying the trinkets. will definitely take that on board for the next journey.
KELLY
damn, that is some serious scary shit. so, so glad you got out of it ok.
BACKYARD SAFARI
thanks for the comment which is probably longer than the post itself!!! haha. glad you felt so compelled to write. i like your ideas on donating as well. i think that these organisations know how to use it best. my only problem is thinking that a huge chunk of what i give goes to admin costs etc. heard a story about a certain popular english teaching company that charged thousands of dollars to be able to go to an exotic location and live with a family. of those thousands, less than 100 dollars went to the host family for a one month stay. i think you just need to be careful on selecting who you give to.
thanks again everyone!
jamie and jess
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if i have extra food or water, I always try to give that to them first. I don’t really carry that much money around with me anyways, so it would be hard to give them any money. interesting discussion, though.
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Your posts always have a personal element to them that elevates them above typical tour guide stuff – another lovely post.
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This is a great post – we can totally relate to it. We have come across so many begging children in Guatemala – sometimes they look so poor and bedraggled that it is heartbreaking. We have had a flock of kids following us around for a few days in Chichi and around the lake – the same kids! We found out that they were sent there by their parents all by themselves to earn some money selling tourist souvenirs. We decided that, rather than giving them money, we’d buy them something if we could see that they really needed it (clothes) or fed them some lunch/dinner when we could hear their bellies growl.
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This is a great post Jamie, and one most people struggle with. I still don’t know the right thing to do. I try not to give to children begging because I know it will just keep them begging and many of those who do have been sent out by crime rings to do it. If children are selling something, I will usually buy something then. There is nothing worse then seeing a child begging. It broke my heart to see children in Malawi begging for water. I think you just have to do what feels right in your heart
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this was a very well written post, something like this is hard, when do you know they need it, and when do you know they’re just trying to earn an easy buck?
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I still remember one time in Peru when I did not give money to a young girl who approached me. I usually never do, but on this occasion I should have (it was december 25th). I went back 2 hours later looking for her and never found her, and to this day I still remember her- it was 8 years ago.
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My heart breaks every time I see these kids. You need to do what God puts on your heart. If that doesn’t work, then remember You can never go wrong by giving. I give.
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Thank you so much for this one. you know what, i can relate with it very much because everyday, i see a lot of kids loitering in the sidewalks begging for money, asking for food. it is just so heartbreaking that at a young tender age, they start to work when they should be the school, studying.
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